After the War Is Over

After the War Is Over
© Jon Trott, Filboyd Studge Productions

I remember the way I danced
The sinful season worth its weight in lead
All I thought was golden light
Turned out to be the tears you shed
Every girl I made my object
Every boy I used in spite
Every body lain with in that lonely night
Another victim in my fight

After the war is over
I wander through the rubble left behind
After the war is over…

Can it be / my enemy / you love me?

I dissemble even now, recalling
The way I was with those I clung to
I have a hard time admitting
I made them bleed along with you
Every friend I made enemy
Each brother I left out in the cold
Fellow sufferers in this prison
Another drunk left robbed and rolled

At times I want to surrender
But the mind police own all the doors
They’re lost and violent just like me
I fight them thinking they are yours
But who’s that sitting by the well
Beside the harlot with tears on her face
She’s laying down her weapons
Drinking water from a secret place

After the war is over
I wander through the rubble left behind
After the war is over…

Can it be / my enemy / you love me?

A soldier seldom tells his tales
He’s no hero in his own heart
The blood and faces, eyes of hurt
Tear his lonely existence all apart
I fought so hard, so long, so fruitlessly
Against a never-resting enemy
Who watched and waited for the moment
How strange that it would be He…

The one I murdered every moment
The one I saw in their suffering eyes…
Jesus forgive me for this offal life
I’ve lived for self while my neighbor cries…
The harlot comes toward me smiling
She’s babbling about the drink she had
I realize the castle’s falling
She’s switched sides and I’m so glad

After the war is over
I wander through the rubble left behind
After the war is over…

Can it be / my enemy / you love me?
Why are you my ecstasy?
You are, Dear One, my ecstasy.