Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Thursday, November 06, 2008

BlueChristian's Election 2008 in Pictures

Instead of much text this time, I thought I'd offer some personal pictures of my family's 2008 election experience. Oh, and here's a very silly Obama moment we got on film...



And now that silliness is out of the way, here are some pics I took while being an Election Judge at a Precinct near our house:



I did sneak the above pic without really compromising anyone's anonymity as they voted... though it wasn't a secret who was voting for who... the final tally in this precinct was 331 some for Obama vs 21 for McCain.



Blue Christian (a.k.a., Jon Trott, yours truly) holds a royal flush of voter touchscreen cards (the little machine in front of me activates the cards for use in a touchscreen voting machine). Katy, my fellow judge, looks on.


Two of our fellow judges are keeping a lock on the main balloting machine/box.


Katy, Julie (a fellow JPUSAn), and Trina our PPA (the one that fixes it when we Judges manage to mess up the computer touch screen). The day was wildly busy through the entire morning, but slowed down in the afternoon. Everyone had the idea to vote early this year.



My grand daughter Naya again, wearing her Aunt Tamzen created Obama shirt, which while not fully visible here, reads: "OBAMA - I need a change. No, not my diaper."

Grant Park pics from my four children (plus the two boys' wives) who went down to see it all happen may be forthcoming...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

All the Nasty Things They've Called Obama: A List


I just couldn't help making a list of all the negative labeling Republicans have attempted to paste on Barack Obama. Why? Because they sometimes make me laugh, other times want to scream in frustration. If readers have more of this nonsense, please add it and I'll update this list. Try to add sources if it's something we all haven't already heard.

First, the oldie goldies:


Socialist

Do any of the nimblewits posting this term in reference to Obama/Biden even know what a socialist actually IS? McCain/Palin have defined it this way: "spreading the wealth around." Whoa! Mommy, there's a socialist under my bed spreading wealth around! Okay, just to help, here's the dictionary definition:

1: any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods
2 a
: a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b: a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state
3
: a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work done. (Webster's)

In other words, people, it's exactly what George Bush just did when he partially nationalized our banks! And McCain's a socialist, too, since he voted yes on this bail-out. By the way, as far as McCain/Palin's own definition, "spreading the wealth around"... uh, that's what taxes do. Like you know, fund building highways or AIDS medicine for Africa or... bombs to drop on Iraq.


Communist

See above. Except worse.


Liberal

Dang. Liberal. Liberal means bad, right? Like they eat people and sacrifice cats in their basements. I think. Well, read the actual Webster's definition:

[O]ften capitalized : a movement in modern Protestantism emphasizing intellectual liberty and the spiritual and ethical content of Christianity b: a theory in economics emphasizing individual freedom from restraint and usually based on free competition, the self-regulating market, and the gold standard c: a political philosophy based on belief in progress, the essential goodness of the human race, and the autonomy of the individual and standing for the protection of political and civil liberties dcapitalized : the principles and policies of a Liberal party.

Hmm. Other than (a) the gold standard, and (b) the essential goodness of humanity, which all politicians believe in as long as we vote for them but none of us fully believe when pondering our ballots, I'd say that's a pretty Hallmark Card definition. Of course, if McCain doesn't like civil liberties, perhaps he could speak up now and save everyone the headache of voting for him come election day. After all, when it turned out Dubya didn't like political and civil liberties so much, it was too late for us to do much about it.


Extreme Liberal

This is a liberal with tattoos and piercings. Sometimes riding a Harley. Wait. Isn't John McCain the one that took his wife to Sturgis, SD, and suggested she run for a motorcycle momma award? Hm, begging for an expose...


Un-American

Everyone knows what this means. Anyone living in America who does not appear to agree with my interpretation of what being an American is.


"Boy"

"I'm going to tell you something: That boy's finger does not need to be on the button... He could not make a decision in that simulation that related to a nuclear threat to this country." - 49 yr old Geoff Davis, Kentucky congressman, about 46 yr old Barack Obama
Yep. In 2008. Nice how, no matter what, some things stay the same.


"not one of us"

See above. Almost any of the above, actually.


Antichrist

Coolest evil label ever. We "liberal communist socialist" people also use the word at times, though usually with a touch more irony than our conservative counterparts. The trouble with the label is, of course, that it is usually applied to fairly decent folks. Like Rush Limbaugh.

-=-

Second, some 2008 firsts, for a Presidential election at least:

Muslim
and/or
Arab

The obvious problem with both of these terms is that they contain a double insult; first, that Obama is being called something he is not (either Muslim or Arab), second that Muslims and / or Arabs are Un-Americans by default. Oh, and did anyone clue the Muslim/Arab haters that massive numbers of Muslims are not Arab (Indonesia, anyone?) while large numbers of Arabs are not Muslim. I apologize, however, for being factual.

One more thing, haters: a Muslim American could be President one day, and none of us would have to worry about head scarves or jihads... yep. This Evangelical Christian is telling you, not asking. The vast majority of Muslim Americans actually love their country! What malevolent idiocy to spread these lies or -- just as shocking -- to *believe* the lies! Or, as a 1970s era me would have said, "DUH!" The Bible would say "Love your neighbor as yourself..." but we're not gonna get biblical here because it might require cutting the locks from abandoned minds.


"friend of terrorists"

Bill Ayers Bill Ayers BillAyersBillAyersBill billayersbillayersbillayersbillayers bill -- aw, shuddUP!!

Hokay, well, that's about all I got. But just for fun, let's put them all together:

Barack Obama is a socialist/Arab/communist/Muslim/liberal/extremeliberal/unAmerican/"Boy"/not one of us/Antichrist!!

(And a friend of Bill Ayers BillAyersbillayersbillayersbillayers.)

And there, ladies and gentleman, we have the entirety of the Republican platform for 2008!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Get Your Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, even Dick Cheney Dolls!

.
So Chris Rice and I were on one of our power walks (only a four miler today), and between us we addressed my anxiety issues over the Clinton spin machine, the growing rend in the Democratic Party, and various other issues involving rude former vice presidential candidates....

"You need an Obama for your pocket," replied Chris. To which I responded with a grunt of surprise.

My apparently unhinged companion's spiel continued. "An Obama doll. You pull him out, pull his string, and he says 'Yes, we can!' Then you smile and put him back. And everything's fine!"

What the heck... was he a staffer on Clinton's team or maybe a dialogue writer for SNL? This less than wildly funny idea was, nonetheless, wildly funny to us at the moment. And so we had to invent more dolls, including a Hillary and McCain doll.

"Yes we can!" says the Obama doll.
"No we can't!" says the Clinton doll.
"Re pub li can!" says the McCain doll, which also sings: "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb... Bomb Iran!"

Well, turns out there's already a company with some of this idea in place. The Vicale Corporation offers, for a mere fifty-five dollars, The DREAM TEAM!

















The real Hillary and Barack... And their doll counterparts.


Uh, does that doll look like Hillary or Sir Hillary? And Barack looks like, well, someone's idea of a generic black man doll. If anyone thinks of what black celebrity male this does look like, please let the rest of us in on it. I think they microwaved each doll enough to pull on the ears (just about the only part of the doll that looks like Obama) and further genericize the face. And is Obama's head shrinking? (Ha! Another ploy by the Clintons!) But heck, Chris and I wouldn't have done any better. So there ya go. If you need an Obama in your pocket, or a Hillary, Vicale will be happy to oblige.

Oh, and they also have a Dick Cheney doll, a President Bush doll (two, actually), even John Kerry and Howard Dean dolls! Along with a Larry Craig doll that is, uh, oh never mind (everything turns into a euphemism).

However, the newest doll addition may be the best. Unlike the rest, they only give us the cartoon version of what they call "the Obamakinz doll." (No, I'm not making that up!) But the cartoon version is good, esp. in light of what their other dolls turned out like. Big secret? All you need do is print this thing out (not their idea, mind you, but mine -- ALL mine! [sound of maniacal laughter]) and paste it to some cardboard. Then cut to size and put it your pocket, for an instant Obama doll.

Write the key phrase on the back. When stressed, esp. over the election, ask any question of your cardboard Obama doll and turn it over to get the one best response possible:

"Yes We Can!"

And there you have the lighter side of Obama-obsessive behavior. You can thank me later.


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