Thursday, March 13, 2008

Get Your Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, even Dick Cheney Dolls!

So Chris Rice and I were on one of our power walks (only a four miler today), and between us we addressed my anxiety issues over the Clinton spin machine, the growing rend in the Democratic Party, and various other issues involving rude former vice presidential candidates....

"You need an Obama for your pocket," replied Chris. To which I responded with a grunt of surprise.

My apparently unhinged companion's spiel continued. "An Obama doll. You pull him out, pull his string, and he says 'Yes, we can!' Then you smile and put him back. And everything's fine!"

What the heck... was he a staffer on Clinton's team or maybe a dialogue writer for SNL? This less than wildly funny idea was, nonetheless, wildly funny to us at the moment. And so we had to invent more dolls, including a Hillary and McCain doll.

"Yes we can!" says the Obama doll.
"No we can't!" says the Clinton doll.
"Re pub li can!" says the McCain doll, which also sings: "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb... Bomb Iran!"

Well, turns out there's already a company with some of this idea in place. The Vicale Corporation offers, for a mere fifty-five dollars, The DREAM TEAM!

The real Hillary and Barack... And their doll counterparts.

Uh, does that doll look like Hillary or Sir Hillary? And Barack looks like, well, someone's idea of a generic black man doll. If anyone thinks of what black celebrity male this does look like, please let the rest of us in on it. I think they microwaved each doll enough to pull on the ears (just about the only part of the doll that looks like Obama) and further genericize the face. And is Obama's head shrinking? (Ha! Another ploy by the Clintons!) But heck, Chris and I wouldn't have done any better. So there ya go. If you need an Obama in your pocket, or a Hillary, Vicale will be happy to oblige.

Oh, and they also have a Dick Cheney doll, a President Bush doll (two, actually), even John Kerry and Howard Dean dolls! Along with a Larry Craig doll that is, uh, oh never mind (everything turns into a euphemism).

However, the newest doll addition may be the best. Unlike the rest, they only give us the cartoon version of what they call "the Obamakinz doll." (No, I'm not making that up!) But the cartoon version is good, esp. in light of what their other dolls turned out like. Big secret? All you need do is print this thing out (not their idea, mind you, but mine -- ALL mine! [sound of maniacal laughter]) and paste it to some cardboard. Then cut to size and put it your pocket, for an instant Obama doll.

Write the key phrase on the back. When stressed, esp. over the election, ask any question of your cardboard Obama doll and turn it over to get the one best response possible:

"Yes We Can!"

And there you have the lighter side of Obama-obsessive behavior. You can thank me later.

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@bdul muHib said...

Si se puede!

@bdul muHib said...

Hold on a sec. Haven't I already seen the Dick Cheney doll?

Jon Trott said...

Dang, you are one twisted Jesus freak. And that was funny!